Wednesday, May 31, 2006


A call to action for the restoration of the reputation of

by Nick Zegarac

It isn’t often that I take time out from answering people’s mail to make a personal statement in support of anyone. However, Dr. Eboni Wilson is no ordinary man.

His situation, sadly, is not unique, but its pall of lies and betrayal has cast many hot pokers into very deep wounds. Therefore, a swift resolution is of considerable importance and concern. Dr. Eboni Wilson is the principal of Chester High School; a man wrongfully accused of having sex with a minor.

Though his exoneration in a court of law of these charges has been made complete – his reputation as a man has been considerably scarred. So, permit me to set the record straight.

In the opinion of this blog critic, Dr. Eboni Wilson, the extraordinary principal who was WRONGFULLY accused by some nameless, remorseless tart (whose name SHOULD be made public – if for no other reason, then to shame her as much as she has shamed an INNOCENT man) is a genuine salt of the earth.

But don’t just take my sole opinion on this man. I’ve never met him. But after viewing his plight on the Dr. Phil television show I feel as though I know him well. Genuine sincerity is a commodity that cannot be faked. And Dr. Wilson has exhibited great sincerity. Take WSU Sports Psychologist, Mark Summerson’s quote “He is exceptional. His greatest draw is his humanity…it emanates from him” to the bank.

Not only did Mr. Wilson achieve so much in so little time (a PhD at the age of 24 is NO small feat), but he rose above seemingly impossible odds, poverty and the filth of growing up in a ghetto.

He did all of this – not with a Harry Belefonte-sized chip on his shoulders, but with style, class and above all else, humility. He has shown great respect and a genuine desire to impart his wisdom and courage on an entire generation that – again, in this critic’s less than humble opinion – is in desperate need and short supply these days.

The fiendishly clever idiot child who accused Dr. Wilson of a sex act did so for the most callous and superficial reasons – to save her own face during a police interrogation for cutting class and hanging out with the wrong crowd in the school’s auditorium. Not that any of Dr. Wilson’s fellow educators or surrounding community would be willing or quick on the draw to accept that maybe – JUST MAYBE – he was NOT the Janus-faced hypocrite and pervert that his accuser had claimed.

In fact, since the whole erroneous scandal broke – and even after the accuser recanted her lies to a reporter - not a single apology has emerged from either the Chester High School board, the district attorney prosecuting the case, or the girl who told these lies and her parents – such as they are.

Oh well, what do you expect from pigs but a grunt?!?

I’ll pause here to digress a moment and point out that prior to Dr. Wilson taking over the leadership at Chester, it was not a high school but a cesspool for lazy teachers, drug dealers, overwhelming gang-related violence and female students turning tricks in the locker rooms. Chester had one of the worst attendance records and SAT scores in the public school system.
Dr. Forrest Parkey , Dr. Wilson’s academic advisor while he was pursuing his PhD has described him as “courageous” and “authentic.”

I’ll second that assessment. It takes a big man – both physically and emotionally – to tackle a seemingly hopeless situation and, in fact, turn it around to have a positive impact.

Dr. Eboni Wilson has exhibited qualities in short supply in the world in general but, I would argue, particularly absent from the education system. While his contemporaries were most willing to accept the status quo of inevitable decline and impoverishment in higher learning – Dr. Wilson was determined to make a difference.

The fact that Dr. Wilson dedicated himself 100% of the time to the pursuit of academic excellence – NOT as a means of winning in-house accolades or to imbue himself with the mantel if incredulity that so many claim for a hard journey attained…NO, but to better his community, enrich the lives of students and forever improve his school so that it might be a beacon of light for the youth of today and the society of tomorrow, instead of what it had been - a repository for the riffraff of the streets – has earned Dr. Wilson the respect of not only his community but, of the world. Those living in his own backyard and yet unwilling to accept the fact that Dr. Eboni Wilson is a great man should hang their collective cynicism in shame.

That Dr. Wilson’s attempts for a better youth of tomorrow were side-lined nearly two years ago by nothing more than a hateful accusation of misconduct – and continue to be side-lined by the stigma associated with his case – is a crime of humanity’s need to always believe in the inherent wickedness of fellow men (particularly those who refuse to bend to evil and complacency), and, it remains a public injustice of Herculean atrocity.

The Public School Board, the people residing in Dr. Wilson’s community and the prosecutors in his case - ALL OWE DR. EBONI WILSON a very PUBLIC apology for their attempts to dismantle the reputation of an INNOCENT man.

To Dr. Wilson – if you’re reading this, you have the admiration, respect and deepest sympathy from this reviewer for what has occurred to you and your family. No amount of public outcry – or even apology - will effectively cleanse the stain of this heinous accusation from your sterling reputation.

But at least this critic is willing to try by spreading the good word about you to those who frequent this blog.

Remember that you are a hero in an age where heroism is either not valued, or, scoffed off the radar by those same callous cynics who thought your attempts at reforming Chester High a mere folly from boastful egotism grandstanding.

Also recall that those who worked along side you may have been considered your contemporaries – but, I shall suggest publicly herein – they most certainly have proven themselves NOT to be your friends.

Finally, for the sake of harmony in the future of your endeavors (for there are many mountains left to climb) you are, in this critic’s esteem, the most worthy champion of those causes which you have believed in thus far. DO NOT allow the ignorance, arrogance and maliciousness of either this young upstart or your surrounding community to impugn your good nature, your sincerity or your just pursuit of excellence in all things – though chiefly, in yourself.

In the words of another man facing insurmountable adversities, former President Richard M. Nixon, “a man is not finished when he is defeated; he's finished when he quits,” and finally,

“We think that when things happen that don’t go the right way…that the light has left forever. Not true. It’s only a beginning, always…because the greatness comes not when things go always good for you, but the greatness comes and you are really tested when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes, because only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.

Always give your best, never be discouraged, never be petty; always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself.”

God bless.

The crabby critic

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

GET OVER IT...and more of your questions answered by THE CRABBY CRITIC

Dear Crabby:

I’m depressed. My new ex-girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend. After the last one slept with him he told me he was still my friend - first and that girls are a dime a dozen. My question is, why do I always pick girls who will cheat on me with my best friend. He’s always there for me when we split but the girls just come and go. I don’t have a soul mate.

Dave in Maui

Dear Slut-Finder:

You don’t have a best friend either.

The guy who’s claiming to be yours is actually just a straggler on who looks upon you as a free pimp service for procurement of a consistent supply of genuinely hot booty.

If you announced to him tomorrow that you were giving up women for lent this ignorant moron would give you up for good and never consider the disposal a loss in friendship.

Ditch Mr. Sniffy, the love-puppy.
He’s pooped on your good graces long enough - it stinks and his bite is evidently just as potent as his bark. least, the trashy wenches you've been hanging out with think so.

With regards to why you seem to find girls who desire your best friend over you…gee, I don’t know.

How fat, alcoholic and toothless are you?

Desperation breeds desperation. Perhaps you’re giving off some negative vibe that women are reading; something along the lines of “Please stay with me after you sleep with me because I don’t think I can stand up and be the knight in shining armor you’re looking for without you clinging to my arm…please…no, really…please.”

My advise, Dave: take your testicles out of the Mason jar for a refresher course in testosterone repair. But swear off the ladies for at least six months.

Join a fitness club.
Get a hobby.
Become an enviable contributor to the community at large. Women find usefulness in the male animal incredibly sexy…go figure.

And all this time you thought they were just after your hunky loins!

Yours truly,
The crabby critic

Dear Crabby:

My life is a disaster. My mother controls my every move. My dad is sleeping with his secretary and my mother doesn’t know. My brother likes to hit me because I’m little and my sister says I’m going to grow up and be gay. I’m 14 and I hate my life. I found you through a friend of mine who says you tell it like it is. Do you? What should I do?

Brian in Monte Calm

Dear Deflated:

Yep. I tell it like it is and this is how it is: your dad sleeping with his secretary is NOT your fault.

Your mother probably knows but is too weak a character to confront him on it. That’s why she’s turned you into her personal punching bag for all the close scrutiny she’d like to do to him but hasn’t got the guts to follow through on. Parents do their children a great disservice when they graft adult opinions and responsibilities onto their very young children. You shouldn’t even know about your father’s secretary.

With regards to your older brother taking a whack at you: I don’t usually advocate violence but you seem to have enough on your plate already so a little bit more really won’t matter.

By way of a personal story – when I was eleven there was this school bully who consistently taunted and teased me by calling me names and throwing rocks until I got mad. I’d chase the idiot like I was an idiot all around the playground in a frustrated rage. But, as luck would have it, his legs were longer than mine so he inevitably always got away.

Then, one day, I thought better of my usual plan. My bully called me a few choice names and hit me in the head with a stone that left a welt the size of a quarter. He then bolted without looking to see if I was following him in hot pursuit. Instead, I took a short cut around the back of the playground, came around the corner and ran right into him.

The look of total shock on his face was only matched by the bewildered screaming everyone else heard as I proceeded to beat the living snot out of my bully. I had never hit another human being until that moment – and never have since.

Long story short: my bully learned a valuable lesson.

So did I.

A bully will only abuse the person he thinks won’t or can’t fight back.

Your brother’s a bully – Brian. Perhaps, if you’re feeling frisky, it’s time to surprise him with a bit of payback.

But I want to be perfectly clear: don’t start anything. Unprovoked violence is NEVER the answer. But a reciprocation of provoked violence does occasionally set the world right.

I have a different solution for your sister.

Ignore her – totally. That drives girls crazy.

Yours truly,
The crabby critic

Dear Crabby:

I hate your guts!

- anonymous

Dear Gutless No-Name:

What about the rest of me?


Dear Crabby:

I was told my mom died when I was five. I’m thirty-nine now. But the truth was that mom took off with some guy from Tennessee and never looked back. Last year my dad died of cancer. We were very close. Before he went he told me the truth. My question is this: should I try and find my mom? I have mixed feelings about conducting a search.

- Gladys in Forte Durbin

Dear Searcher:

I wouldn’t. Now, before I continue, I suppose I should state that I have no first hand knowledge of what it would be like to come home from school one day and find one parent permanently erased from my life.

I suppose, if I may be so bold to reflect, I would have all sorts of questions stemming from my central concern of “where’s mama?” “She died? How? From what? Where is she buried? Can we go visit her grave?”

I suspect that you’ve had many more questions over the years. The reason you still have them is because inside your thirty-nine year old body is a five year old tear-stained child still screaming that she wants her mother back.

Far be it from me to question your father’s motives in keeping your mother’s whereabouts a secret until just before his dying day.

My guess – he was humiliated by your mother’s betrayal.

That doesn’t excuse his dishonesty. But you should at least reconsider any lingering animosity towards him under the rubric that he did the best he could with a very messy situation.

In fact, your father made a very noble and commendable sacrifice: he chose to continue the myth that your mother cared very much for her child by not having you deal with the fact that she abandoned you without ever looking back. He stood by you while you were growing up. He acted as any emotionally secure, stable and responsible parent should. He was there for you until the very end and you in turn reciprocated that love for him at the end of his life.

Your mother? She doesn’t want to see you.

Hard fact as that may be to swallow, mom left and never looked back. She found some guy to temporarily satisfy her needs (and believe me, there were probably many others in her disposable closet) and then tossed you and your father like garbage along the freeway.

That’s despicable behavior.

You owe her nothing. She certainly will provide nothing now that will enhance your well being, reestablish the bond that that five year old desperately craves, or enrich your life in any positive way. When it comes to mom, your reflection should mirror her own: don’t look back, Gladys. It staggers and drags the heart until all you are able to do is look back…and you have so much more to look forward to instead.

My best to you now during this difficult time,

The crabby critic

@ 2006 (all rights reserved).

Friday, May 05, 2006


...and more of your questions answered by
the crabby critic

Dear Crabby:

My father hates my boyfriend, Roman because he’s been in trouble with the cops and went to prison for a short time. But I say everyone’s entitled to a second chance. Besides, no one could prove he was responsible for that stabbing/murder. That’s why he got out with only a couple of years. How can I get my dad to give my boyfriend a second chance?

Jose in Nantucket

Dear Jose:

That’s not the question. The question is WHY do you want to give Roman a second chance? Sounds to me, like papa has more stuffed between his ears than cotton, hay and rags.

Wake up! Murder?!?

Just the implication of such a charge would have sent me running to the nearest Wal-Mart for a stun gun.

The fact that a court of law and a jury put Roman behind bars – regardless of the amount of time he served – seems to suggest that even if they didn’t think he was the man with the hatchet, he clearly knew whose Ginsu had done the carving.

I’m going to try and be tactful with you, Jose because I sense at least one third of your neurons firing if you still had enough brain power to type in and ask for my advice.

It is to never see Roman again!

This murder rap that you’re so flippant about and thoroughly convinced he had absolutely nothing to do with is just the tip of his rap sheet.

Get a clue – Nancy Drew.

Why don’t you check out the county court records and learn more about the man you’re so quick to defend.

What is the hold this deviant has on you? Drugs? Prostitution?

It can’t be just straight sexual attraction. Nantucket’s not that small a community. I’m sure you could find at least ten other locals without a bar code at the correctional facility to service your needs.

Bottom line: This guy is dangerous.

He’s not the kind you take home to pops unless daddy has more money than God and the two of you are planning his murder for the inheritance. You’re worth more than Roman, Jose. My advice in a nutshell: Ditch Harry the Hacksaw soon or you may have to start picking out your own toe tag.

Yours truly,
The crabby critic

Dear Crabby:

I think you’re a heathen!

- Denise in Richmond

Dear Holy Roller:

I suppose if I wanted to be petty and insulting I could say that I consider you the poster child for some right-wing Christian wacko organization that’s into arranged marriages, fetal brainwashing and consuming live chickens at bi-weekly tent revivals.

But I don’t consider your comment worthy of either that assessment or my time. So, as best as I can surmise, ‘You are the weakest link – goodbye.’

- C.C.

Dear Crabby:

This is rather embarrassing. Last night I went on a date with this podiatrist. We had a very nice dinner and danced. Then I went back to her place for what I thought was just going to be a nightcap but it very quickly became something else. She asked me if I ever had foot pain and I said ‘occasionally’ and she proceeded to give me what I would classify as an erotic foot massage, all the while telling me how the feet are often the most neglected part of the human body.

Afterward we had our drink but I didn’t know what else to do. I mean, I didn’t even kiss her goodnight because I felt sort of strange about the whole thing. Do you think she was trying to sleep with me?

Eric in San Francisco

Dear Hoof-Meister:

Okay. I’ll admit that if some woman I barely knew suddenly undid my shoelaces and started slathering up my bunions with peppermint oil, I’d feel a tad uncomfortable about the informality. But then again, this particular stranger is a podiatrist.

I mean, feet are her occupation…and, evidently her hobby too.

Erotic how?

Did she perform this massage in a thong and pasties?

Even if she straddled the coffee table in mid Cognac and started tearing at your socks I would think her more odd than erotic.

Let’s be clear here. She didn’t lick your toes. She just rubbed them. Fully dressed and lecturing you on cuticle repair no less, doesn’t exactly classify your experience for the Hot Zone – at least, not in my opinion.

The fact that you’re your potential paramour didn’t go beyond the ankle with her touchy-feely seminar says to me that she only had your wellbeing at heart. She probably considered her massage a friendly payback for stamping away to the beat on the dance floor. The massage was her way of saying thank you.

Answer me this, Hangnail
– did you like it?

I mean, was she any good at her craft?

Because I can tell you that it isn’t every day you’ll find a woman ready and willing to give you a foot massage and nothing else. Sounds to me like a polite kiss – either on the mouth or, at the very least, cheek was in order to set the bill up Dutch.

Consider this: have you ever given any of your dates a shoulder or neck rub?

Should these dates have considered your ‘hands on’ approach as a prelude to intercourse? If the answer is ‘yes’, then you’re a fast worker. But if you would think nothing of performing a finger-friendly squeeze to ease the tension of a night out on the town (and expect it to go NO FURTHER than that) then my advice to you is that you were only paid back for your previous intensions in kind, if not in proximity.

Foot massages can be sensual, though it doesn’t sound like this one was. After all, she didn’t blow your mind, Eric…and realistically, it doesn’t sound like any of your other appendages were considered optional by her either!

Yours truly,
The crabby critic

Dear Crabby:

I’m a pole dancer at a reputable men’s club. But when I’m away from my place of work I keep a fairly low profile. I mean, you couldn’t tell me from the PTA mom baking cookies. Anyway, four months ago I met a really nice guy (not at work) and we’ve been going out pretty steady. But when he initially asked what I did for a living, I lied and said I did shift work at a customs office. The point is I think it’s time I told him what I really do because I really like him. After all, it’s only for the money. What do you think? What would you do?

Deborah in Houston

Dear Sex-on-a-Stick:

I think if your fella’s any kind of a man, he’ll probably give you an ultimatum and you will have to decide between the man and your money. You strike me as someone not all together under the influence of selling out to the highest bidder. But I have to say that your argument about ‘hey, I only dance for cash’ is the same crock of poopy any and every porn star has said to their potential lover who’s not in the industry.

I’m not suggesting your doing tricks for trade, Deb’ – just trying to draw a parallel in your frame of logic. Your guy may not like the idea of sharing you with others – even if it’s only across a stage.

Congratulations on expanding the horizons of the sexual revolution, but seeing you on a forty foot poster in the red light district of cowboys and Indians would not be what I would hope for from a potential mate.

You may think me prudish but I do attach a modicum of modesty to sharing myself with someone else on an exclusive level.

If this guy you’re with now is willing, able and ready to pick up the slack while you look for another level of employment my suggestion to you would be to turn in your G-string and whip cream for another line of work.

Sales maybe…depends on what you’re selling.

Yours truly,
The crabby critic

Dear Crabby:

My sister was married to a moron for six years before I pushed her to get a divorce. Then she went out with this guy who was all wrong for her. Just to prove how unfaithful he was, I set up one of her friends with him and he slept with her on the first date. Now he and that friend are no longer in my sister’s life. But now she’s fixing to marry a minister who I just know got relocated because of a sex scandal in another town not far from where we live. At first I tried to get this guy to leave her alone by telling him that my sister had VD. Then I told him she was a lesbian. Nothing worked. I don’t think my sister should get engaged. She’s a loser magnet. What should I do?

Sarah in Sterling Heights

Dear Sarah:

I like you.

You are a nice monster.

By that, I mean your heart seems to be loosely implanted in the right spot, only you’ve done the most despicable things to prove your love and devotion to your sibling.

But I must say that you’ve been fortunate to be so pervasively destructive and still maintain a full set of teeth. I should think either sis’ or one of her lovers would have given you a fist sandwich by now.

Do you have any sufficient proof that your sister is about to marry a child molester?

Sounds to me as though you’re operating on pure rumor and innuendo.

Want my advice…I mean, really…do you?!?

Because it sounds as though you’ve a will, determination and the bad judgment to ignore anyone who differs from your vantage point.

My advice: leave your sister’s life alone and concentrate more on your own. If you feel your sister is heading down a dark path – most definitely I would think as a loving sibling you would do anything to intervene and save her from heartache.

But spreading rumors about diseases or sexual orientation just to dissuade men from finding her attractive is not only mean-spirited but slanderous and bordering on obsessive jealousy.

You need to find another outlet to show your love, sister woman! Stamping her reputation into the dust is hardly an act of familial philanthropy.

Yours truly,
The crabby critic